Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?

I had slept with this guy before, maybe three or four times. He’s a friend of a friend and it’s only ever been very casual. It just so happened that he came back to mine last Saturday night. As he literally threw me onto the bed, one hand around my neck and the other pinning me down by my wrist, I was loving his hot breath on my skin.

Then an image appeared in my mind, the one imagine I didn’t want to see, the image of the guy I really like. The guy I really want. The guy I don’t have. The guy that was in my bed wasn’t the one I wanted there. I mumbled something and the more I tried to prise myself from under him, the more I wanted to be further away than I knew possible. I stumbled out to the living room and lit a cigarette, my hands in my head when the still tee shirt and jeans clad gentleman caller sat down beside me. I said that I didn’t feel great and the nice guy he is, he offered me water and asked if he could get me anything else.

I would guess he was a bit eh, deflated at that point and I just wanted to scream. It was ok chatting, half watching the end of the DVD until he left, we get on and he’s funny but all I could see was the Guy I Want [GIW] sitting beside me when we laughed for hours at anything and everything, realising that we have a very similar sense of humour, outlook on all kinds of things and craving for pizza literally 24\7.

I met GIW about 6 months ago and then didn’t see him for ages. He too is a friend of a friend and when I bumped into him in my local, we realised we both lived very close by. He walked me home and over another bottle of wine we laughed until dawn. He called round about a week later on the premise of returning the wine. There wasn’t any tension but I found myself breathing very deeply any time he was out of sight! In fact the evening was the opposite of tense. He invited himself around a few more times. Always we’d a great time, lots of laughing and we caught each other stealing looks which made for coy smiles and electricity.

I couldn’t make a suggestion to meet up the following week and then he couldn’t make the date I suggested. There were texts and Facebook messages but the next time I saw him he was with another girl. He didn’t see me and I had a pain on my face trying to smile for the rest of the night. You see no one else knows that he’s the first guy I’ve liked in a very long time. I meet new guys all the time but he really tugged at my heartstrings.

I’ve heard he’s seeing this other girl now, I don’t want to know any more details. I’m not one to count chickens but I had thought maybe, maybe something might happen between us. There are reasons why it wouldn’t work but just as many reasons why it would. Details, schmetails. I haven’t texted him for a few weeks. I feel sick at the thought of him not replying even though he always did before. I have had Facebook messages from him and a bit of a chat but I chose to delete him as a friend. I had to. There were pictures of him and her popping up all over the place. I don’t want to feel jealous so I’ve removed the cause. He might notice sometime and I’ll say it must’ve been in error.

So for now, I’ll try to keep his gorgeous face from my mind, chastise myself upon remembering a little something he said or did. And I’ll breathe. And I’ll just carry on regardless. Maybe someone else will make me feel the way he does sometime soon.

Just Me

Another thing you need to know on this catch up, peeps – and we do need to catch up properly – is that there’s another group of men that have emerged on my horizon. OK, not so much emerged as come out in force lately, step forward and behold, ‘The Flirty Married’. The Flirty Married, FM, are sure of one thing and one thing only and that is that they need you to know that they exist. They don’t need you to know that they’re married, more about that later but they do want you  to find them as fantastic as they ahem, know they are. Irresistible, like.

FM’s either may wear their wedding ring but one thing they won’t ever do is mention their wife or any aspect of their married life. They will always show lots of interest in you – ‘I like your hair\jewellery\top’ (see, classic from guys in a long term relationship, they know they should give compliments) or ‘That’s interesting, you know your stuff’ and they laugh at all the right things. Schooled you see. And then there’s the lingering looks, the way they’ll hold your gaze for just that smidgen too long, the way a guy that fancies you might, for instance. There’s the leaning in to properly hear what you’re saying. The way he’ll order you a drink as though you’re regular drinking partners.

I think the rule goes that if you don’t ask, you don’t tell. Now, it can take a few minutes of conversation, hello top left pocket of jeans, before you twig the ring, granted but the definite flirting can only mean one thing, this guy wants your attention which gives the impression that he wants you as well. The guy who doesn’t wear a ring gives himself away when he jumps a mile and races off to answer his phone. He may or not return but if he does it’s only to say, that he ‘has to go’. Cue roll of eyes and the feeling of a wasted conversation. Thanks for that.

I think it’s because of this that I’ve found myself on the receiving end of a number of FM’s recently. One was wearing his wedding ring the first time I met him. He wasn’t the second, third or fourth time and when he followed me into a bathroom at a party just to check I was ok (‘I’m peeing! Do you mind?!’) I had to say something. I had to ask, ‘Why are you being so touchy feely? Really? You’re married. I don’t need to be a scarlet lady. Why aren’t you wearing your wedding ring?’. He concluded that ‘Yeah I should be wearing it’ so I left him and a potential blow job looking very cosy on the couch. The older guy I mentioned in the post below eventually told me that while he was in a long term relationship but he didn’t live with his girlfriend. Oh well, that’s ok then, dinner on Thursday?

I’m not prepared to be your filler while you pretend to be a single man, thank you very much. If you tell me you’re married and the group of us are having a good chat and a drink, it could be great fun. And sure introduce me to one of your single mates while we’re at it. Or try to chat me up again when you’re single. It won’t be that long now, not the way you carry on.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

It’s been a while since we’ve chatted so I should really update you on the gentlemen that have made Glitter sparkle since then. Yes, there have been a few but no one that significant, I guess you could say that I’m happily still having lots of fun!

There has been a bit of a change though and it’s one I’m slightly at a loss to explain. It would appear that I now fall into that place between the two main male dating groups – I still look good enough for the cocksure mid 20’s guy to fancy me and my wit and experience mean that the 50 something Lothario is more than willing to offer me a cocktail. But I am in neither of those age groups. I’m, lets say towards the middle of that range and so seem to have found myself ‘considerable’ to the entire range of what ladies would deem, age appropriate men. If you need any evidence, I am currently being pursued by a man maybe 12 or 13 years older than me, I briefly dated a guy last year who is exactly twice the age of one of the flingettes I recently had and even older than a similarly aged young guy that momentarily created a frisson of excitement.

Now it appears that men my own age still exist and I was surprised to met a real potential. We had a couple of really great dates and he was certainly eager. We laughed our way through a few all nighters with music blaring, he was amused yet delighted when a particular bar manager took a shine to me and we got total VIP treatment for the night even though neither of us had been in the bar before and we chatted away for Ireland throughout a great dinner date. He had told me about a psycho sounding ex who at best expressed her insecurity through violence and at worst should have been sectioned for giving us girls a bad name. He didn’t want to go back to her but the fact of the matter is, she got in touch with him again and off he trotted. Better the devil you know I guess, more fool him.

Guys my own age also seem to be in an inbtween place – old enough to have had a serious relationship, a marriage or kids along the way but they haven’t grown up enough to be able to deal with how this affects them in order for them to be rational yet willing to not tar all females with the same brush.

Maybe it’s a good thing that I fall between these groups of men. I can made my own mind up about whomever I want to date and feck the begrudgers. Or as a very good friend said, ‘But Glitter! It just proves how fabulous you are!’

Results of Mythical Proportions

My hair. Oh my flippin hair. It’s thick, dry and ahem, a bit overprocessed. It’s always been unruly and more akin to tamed straw as over the years I’ve tried to be the one in control. I envy those people that can leave their hair dry naturally after washing with any old shampoo and conditioner and the result is supple, shiny locks that flow in straight lines. Really envy them 😦

I’ve been very good for a number of years, trying my best to reason with my hair based on the ‘I’ll treat you right if you return the favour’ type argument and so I left supermarket brands behind and entered the whole arena of designer cremes and serums. With great results, I have to say! But nothing lasts forever, much as you might be the last to trudge from the best party you’ve ever been to or said goodbye to that love you know you have to leave in the past.

I haven’t abandoned my lovely Aveda and yes, I became a Moroccan Oil convert (ignoring the fact that this is in fact an Israeli produced saviour, hair over politics under time of woe is what I say!) but what to do when all these expensive products run out at the same time and you’re hedging your bets with the end of a cheap shampoo and scrimping on the spendy conditioner?

I’m going to simply tell you that if you need something to tame your unruly locks, look no further than new L’Oreal Professionnel Mythic Oil. This 125ml bottle of fabulousness may just change your life! Enriched with a blend of avocado and grape seed oil, a few drops of this miracle will transform your hair. Run through damp hair, you’ll notice this difference every time you use it. Even my hair became a luscious mane of the softest, most supple and shiny hair I’ve ever had. And remember, blonde hair is hard to get a shine from, I can only imagine the blinding sheen it will give darker hair.

And the best bit? Well, for close to one third of the price of Moroccan Oil, in my opinion you get a similar if not better result. 125ml will set you back only €13.90 from L’Oreal Professionnel salons. Now, I did have a bit of a job to track this baby down in Dublin city centre but I found it in Ultimate Hair & Beauty in the GPO Arcade. Phone L’Oreal on 01 604 5910.

 

Ring of Fear

In order to understand where the basis of this post may lie, you have to know that I recently had a bit of a fling with a younger guy. Much younger. Like 10 years younger.

In my dream, there was me, him and a few randomers, the way random people that don’t even know each other or a girl you were in primary school with and haven’t seen in 20 years pop up in dreams.  And there was a house, a wooden house with a lot of staircases. There didn’t seem to be much chatting but I was definitely agitated.  Someone told me about the theory of rooms and what they symbolise in dreams (different rooms are different areas of your life, surprise surprise and what happens in each are a reflection of what’s going on in your life at the time *yawn*) and perhaps this is why I got the wake up call I needed, no pun intended. This younger guy suddenly appeared in the dream, in the house and he wanted to talk to me. He told me that it was me he wanted.

At this point dear readers, I should point out that in real life this guy has a girlfriend of a couple of months. Judge if you will, but remember, it’s me that’s single, not him and so I should be able to do as I please without threat of the gallows or worse still doomed to spend eternity in Krystle nightclub. And it was a flingette if you will, and we’ve all had those. He seemed very genuine about choosing me over his girlfriend and then got upset. He was going to tell her about us but was dreading it. He apologised he hadn’t told her sooner and then he kissed me. All was going well. Exactly what happened next, I’m not sure but I do remember it was me and my Mom talking in the kitchen and I was all flustered.

‘Look at it! LOOK! OMG! It’s a flipping oval ruby on a gold band engagement ring! Gold! A Ruby! O-V-A-L   R-U-B-Y! Gold! Gah!

Well, if he thinks that’s the type of ring I’d like, well, I’m not sure if he knows me at all! And I DO NOT want to be with a guy that doesn’t know me!’

At that exact point I woke up with a fright. Jesus, Mary and St Joseph! That ring was hideous! Maybe I should turn my attention to single guys only or at least those with good taste in jewellery.

The Female Lynx Effect

Tough times unfortunately mean tough beauty choices for us girlies. Ugh, we’ve all been there. One that I found myself in was being ‘perfumeless’. I don’t think I’ve ever bought perfume for myself, I mean I would, but I usually get some duty free in lieu of cat sitting and have a constant supply. But I found myself without my favourite for ages and I had other pressing lotions and potions that had to take presidence.

Big mistake. Continue reading

It’s Me, I’m Deffo Back!

Yes. It’s been far too long. I know. Blame ‘Things and Stuff’.

And there has most definitely been lots of things and stuff going on. Now don’t be silly and think that I’ve won the lotto or become CEO of the most fantastic company in the world, or gone and ‘unsingled’ myself – like any of that would ever happen! No, no, just things and stuff, I’ll explain. Continue reading