Boo Hoo for Jordan.. Not!

jordan not katieI’ve reserved writing about this piece of trash for some time now. In my aim to present both sides of the argument, on one side, I will say unashamedly say that Katie ‘Jordan’ Price appears to be a very clever and astute businesswoman. Well, she’s worth something around the £30m mark and she’s only in her early 30’s, is a self made, one woman operation that has diversified and multiplied the brand name that is Katie Price to become one of the most well known ‘celebrity’ figures around right now.

On the other hand, she’s a slapper. She started off making money from glamour shots of her taken from every angle and for a hefty sum, these pix made it into every type of rag magazine that feature such ‘glamourous’ pix. She did the Playboy centrefold. Morally, you judge where this lies against say, the girl that sat beside her in school that’s now a policewoman or an accountant. The humongous and plastic and attention seeking Jordan wanted more, so she forced her double F’s or whatever into people’s faces and nothing was beneath her as she embarked on a quest for fame and money that sent the most hardened paparazzi into a spin. No nightclub was too trashy for her to fall out of at 3am, no male not worthy of being groped, no brand name was giving her too little money to plug, no one was going to get in her way. And just when we thought we’d seen it all, Brand Jordan went into overdrive. 

It’s literally staggering how much stuff you can buy with this slag’s far-too-made-up face, false hair extensions, false eyelashes and false fingernails emblazoned all over. I did say she’s clever, she knows how to and when to make the money [Well? What on earth will she look like in 15 years time when she’s literally the oldest slag on the heap]. And then there’s always the several installments long of her ‘Autobiography’ so far….

I actually don’t feel like I can type about yer man Plastic Pecs the soon to be ex Mr Jordan. We’ve seen them together. They met. They made us cringe. Then they made us vomit when they got married. And now they’re getting divorced. And SHE’S the one doing all the wrong things. I don’t begrudge her a ‘holiday’ but this happened to coincide with her writhing all over an Ibiza beach shooting for her new calendar. And sure the light wouldn’t be great after dark, so she ‘went on for a few drinks’ in between wearing the various wee bits of string she posed in for the calendar and took off some clothes to relax in.

Or as we’d say in this part of the country – she went on the complete batter, fell out of every pub and club, made no bones about the fact that she’d a grope along the way and no doubt she also threw up into her designer handbag [that the luckiest  nearest fella in the previous 5 minutes got to carry for her] at some point along the way. A fine example of a Mom of 3 in hr early 30’s, no?

The blabbing or blubbing to Piers Morgan last weekend in a finely crafted interview did her no favours. No favours what so ever. I don’t feel sorry for her that she was dumped [dumped by Peter Andre, oh the shame!]. She pissed me off by forlornly looking over her false eyelashes claiming how it was breaking her heart, but it took her all of 5 minutes to claim that ‘Pricey was back on the market! Look out boys!’ And I certainly don’t feel sorry for her that she miscarried a few weeks before the separation was announced – she admitted there were a lot of problems in the marriage, they’d had counseling etc, eh, not exactly the right time for another kid, love. Hopefully that little soul will go to a stable family. She’s hates the paparazzi! Newsflash! She wishes they’d leave her alone! Oh. My. God. How pathetic, like that’s going to happen when you court them to such excess that even the late Princess Di would’ve been embarrassed. And rumour has it that she was paid £100,000 for this latest tell all interview.

Oh! Those poor kids! Being touted out for more pix every time they’re passed from Malicious Mommy to ‘Destraught’ Dad before each parent can resume their normal jobs of seeking attention while the nannies take over. We can only hope that when Princess Tiamii [Jesus! That poor, poor child] and Junior grow up that they use their trust funds wisely to stay as far away from Mommy and Daddy as possible. I presume Harvey, Jordan’s eldest and profoundly disabled child will no longer be ‘cute enough’ to parade for the cameras and he’ll be in a 24/7 care home.

Have you guessed which side of the Love Katie / Hate Jordan debate I stand? And finally, just how easily did ‘Katie’ slip back into being ‘Jordan’, with most Press referring to her as such now? For a while she was ‘Katie’, she nearly had us fooled but a string bikinied, pneumatic boobed slapper won’t ever change it’s spots.

Pic via Perez Hilton


23 responses to “Boo Hoo for Jordan.. Not!

  1. i think you should say what you mean 😉 excellent post. my main concern is that, as you say, she’s a mummy….they’ll be soooo pleased when they grow up and see all this cackaloo that she’s been up to!

  2. it’s almost frightening to think how the kids will feel when they’re old enough to go thro the family albums.. *sigh*

  3. rosemarymaccabe

    I know Katie Price is fair game, but whenever I see the words “slapper” or “slut” I just see red. There’s no male equivalent, and what does it even mean these days? Sex has been commodified to the point that we shouldn’t even be surprised – besides which, so many female film stars / models have been paid handsomely for the same thing, but they’re upper class so it kind of seems okay. Opinions are all well and good, and sorry if that seemed kind of ranty but I just hate seeing women called slappers or sluts, especially by other women.

  4. fair enough rosemary.. but how else would you describe the truly disgraceful way ‘jordan’ behaves
    yeah, we’ve all got drunk etc.. but it’s totally different when you’re in the public eye
    you can’t court the press and then look for privacy

    there isn’t any male equivalent of ‘slapper’, as you said.. but someone w the outward appearance of peter andre makes my skin crawl, i can barely type his name

    i saw one episode of the ‘katie and peter’ programme, on my sister’s insistence and was appalled by them

    and for the record.. selling out is selling out, no matter what you’re plugging.. some people are happy to take the money and run, me personally, i’d like to set myself some standards

  5. rosemarymaccabe

    I wouldn’t describe the way she behaves as “disgraceful”, but I consider myself way off-the-scale liberal (which I’m sure is a very pretentious thing to say anyway, sorry!) so I don’t think there is such a thing as a disgraceful behaviour. Maybe a disgraceful outfit, but that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish. I just think people behave as they see fit, she’s a hypocrite sure, asking for privacy having flaunted all her personal deets for money, but I just think it’s very high-horsey of anyone to describe someone else’s behaviour as morally wrong, in this day and age. Jesus I speak in clichés (again, apologies).

    I don’t have much time for her, or respect in the traditional sense of the word, but I don’t find her “appalling”; she is who she is, let her at it. I don’t pay attention to her, don’t read her stuff, don’t watch her programme, don’t believe her hype, but I would never call her a slapper / slut / sell-out I find that kind of judgment more distasteful than any morally questionable behaviour she might engage in!

    And I get you about standards but that’s a personal choice, Jordan’s never claimed to be anything but what she is, really.

  6. Jordan/Katie’s pretty easy to slag. I get that.
    But I don’t understand why you feel the need to mention the child she miscarried which you say she shouldn’t have been pregnant with (like the same mitake could never happen to any of us) or add that you don’t feel sorry for her.
    Regardless of how a person manipulates the media or how they dress and act I think some level of respect should be shown when speaking about a situation like a miscarraige. If you “don’t feel sorry” for her then perhaps don’t mention the miscarraige or the “little soul” who’ll go to a stable family when reincarnated. (?!)
    I think that by commenting on her children – Harvey ending up in a home etc – you’re no better than titles like OK! who thrive on this rubbish.

  7. rosemary – i specifically didn’t describe her behaviour as ‘morally wrong’
    i said [sic] judge for yourself how she earns her money versus how the majority of people earn their money.. each to their own but personally, i wouldn’t want a family member to be like jordan

    and yes, jordan’s never claimed to be anything but what she is.. which IMO, is a highly insecure, fame seeking individual that would appear to do anything for money and a pap pic.. and the way she goes about that is not somehting i would be into at all

  8. whatever ciara…

    katie/jordan is the one who made her miscarriage public knowledge and got paid a huge amount for it – it’s in the public domain now..
    it was the ‘big revelation’ out of that interview, she didn’t have to mention it but she did

    i don’t think that kids should ever be brought into an unstable environment.. i have a v strong view on this
    and look! they split up merely weeks after she miscarried, having said there were problems for a long time before that
    you’re telling me it would’ve been a good idea for her to have the kid??!!
    and if you think i’d actually like to see harvey ended up in a home, well, you’ve missed my point exactly…

  9. rosemarymaccabe

    Glitterkitty, you may not have used the words “morally wrong” but the implication was there; she’s disgraceful, a “slapper”, the “oldest slag on the heap”, you’re “appalled”. If that’s not moral judgement, I don’t know what is! Not to mention you said that you had “standards”, implying that she doesn’t. . .

    I just think judgment in any form is nasty, and I particularly hate the words “slapper” and “slag” – I think they have no merit in any kind of intellectual (or quasi-intellectual) debate or discussion.

    And another thing – responding to a commenter with “whatever” is ridiculous; a blog is a public forum and people will comment, the least the blogger can do is respect their views.

    I don’t want this to feel like any attack on you personally, that’s not how I mean it, I just find the language used in this particular post really low and offensive, moreso than I find Jordan’s own behaviour.

  10. Glitterkitty,

    Yes, she made her miscarraige public knowledge. And I have no problem with someone relaying that information. What I do feel is not necessary is your insinuation that the misscarraige was a good thing, that her child not being born was better for everyone. Who are you to make these judgments?

    I’m not telling you it would’ve been a good idea for her to have the kid. It’s not my place to say so. Though a wanted child that miscarries is a tragedy, regardless of how you want to spin it.

    Obviously it is ideal for children to be born into a stable environment. It’s hardly radical to hold that view. I, in no way, think you’d like to see Harvey in a home. I find the fact that you said that that is where he’ll end up when no longer photogenic fairly reprehensible, especially as this is entirely your view, not a repetition of anything Jordan has said.

    If you don’t find my views to your liking I’d prefer if you didn’t dismiss them with ‘whatever’. They may not be to your liking but they’re valid nonetheless.

  11. rosemary – what i implied was each to her own and said that i’d LIKE to THINK i had SOME standards
    i find so much of people with jordan’s way of going on just make me cringe, try and avoid it like i do – read first line of the post – it’s there on newspaper shelves and online, on tv etc..

    the word ‘whatever’ is v commonly used and in this case it’s an abbreviation of ‘whatever you think ciara, you’re entitled to your opinion’
    and then i proceeded to clarify a few points made

    rosemary, i think the fact that your comments and ciara’s appear here is testamount to the fact that i am open to comments and thoughts that aren’t the same as my own and have allowed negative comments in the past to give both sides of an argument

    you do know that i can unapprove, delete, edit etc all comments made?

    and there’s no one making you read my blog with my opinions expressed within, obviously,
    just avoid it like you say you do with all the jordan-esque type material out there

  12. rosemarymaccabe

    I am aware of one’s magical editing, deleting, unapproving powers, yes, thanks. What I meant was, a blog is a published article, a piece of your opinion online – an opinion that is, as the lovely Brenda Power now knows, up for debate.

    And to be honest, suggesting someone not read if they dislike your opinions is a childish way of getting out of an argument that (perhaps) you can’t win. My problems aren’t with your views on Jordan, they’re with the way those views are expressed, and the language used. I never said otherwise.

    There are no two “sides” to this argument; whatever Jordan is, calling her a “slapper”, “slag”, “disgraceful”, “appalling” is not your call to make. You can do it, but it doesn’t make it right (morally speaking, of course).

  13. ciara – your views are valid, perhaps that particular ‘colloquialism’ was simply misplaced but it’s more conversational, as i tend to write this blog

    and what’s in this post IS MY opinion, as are opinions in the rest of the blog

    you are entitled to disagree, as mentioned before, i can delete or unapprove comments/ commentors but i’ve allowed them.. as mentioned

    i find it interesting that both of you have voiced strong opinions on my views while implying that i’m not in a position to judge katie price/jordan…

  14. Ah, now. Let’s not be ridiculous.

    You, I and everyone we know, knows that ‘whatever’ is not an abbreviated way of nicely telling me I am entitled to my opinions.

    It is commonly used in many forms, all of them some way of dismissing someone whose argument who can’t be bothered to engage in.

    Looking through the urban dictionary online my two favourite definitions of ‘whatever’, very applicable here are:

    1) Used in an argument to admit that you are wrong without admitting it, so the argument is over.


    2) Passive-aggressive behaviour at its most eloquent.

  15. rosemarymaccabe

    I’ve voiced strong opinions on your views or, more accurately, your method of expressing them – something you have consistently avoided. You don’t seem to have any defence as to how calling anyone – Jordan aside – a “slapper” or “last slag on the heap” is okay.

    I haven’t made any personal comments about you. I’m disagreeing with your views, I’m not judging whatever else you have going on in your life. There is a vast difference, one that I suggest you acquaint yourself with.

  16. ciara – you either believe what i said or you don’t but either way i haven’t changed my opinion on the subject of this blog post

    rosemary – jordan herself hasn’t done much to defend herself from such name calling and seems to revel in it by all accounts, she’s always said ‘i am what i am’
    and while i agree w the sentiment, i just don’t think she’s done herself any favours with a lot of her actions
    she’s put it all out there so to speak, as i’ve put my opinion out there

  17. rosemarymaccabe

    I understand it’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it – my problem is more general and I suppose I should explain: I am an avid feminist and have really strong objections to anyone calling another woman a slapper, slag, slut etc when really the words no longer have any meaning. I don’t think Jordan has any business defending herself against such namecalling; if it were me I wouldn’t bother, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just people being nasty and judgmental and applying a sexist moral standard where there’s on place for it. You won’t get any more objections from me; I don’t reckon you’re paying any attention to them anyway.

  18. rosemary – do a search for ‘kerry katona’ on this site
    that’ll keep you going for the rest of this evening

  19. rosemarymaccabe

    A ha ha ha! Jaysus I’m meant to be going out, that’ll have to be tomorrow’s expenditure of my daily anger quota 😉

  20. ah yeah.. keep it til tomorrow
    then you’ll get the full day of anger out of it!!!

  21. Those comments made for such an enjoyable read. Thoroughly enjoyable.

  22. ah sure that’s what we’re here for, Myopic!

  23. blimey. i’m off for a cuppa after reading that. really intersting though!x

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