Face Value

blonde-goth-21You’re reading this because I like to write and so I started this blog. Most of it is of a kinda personal nature, other bits and pieces aren’t, they’re maybe news items or beauty product reviews etc. I’ve been very flattered by the amount of people that read this blog and for the many, many comments and I hope you continue to visit here. But and here’s the thing, you and I chat about lots of different things, my opinion, my relaying something that happened, you commenting in reply, it’s quite easy really so let’s stay friends cos I’d love if you kept visiting!

 So, it’s a nice little thing we have going, me and you. It works! I start a conversation, you chip in a few words if you’re so inclined and we wake up tomorrow and do it all again. When you’re not here you have your own life, that I know and that I get. I don’t demand when you visit, I just like when you do! And equally, if I don’t want to talk about something, I don’t, if I want your opinion, I’ll ask and I can happily rely on your support. If I felt like you absolutely needed to know what I’m up to every minute of every day, well, you’d be following me via Twitter. But the thing is, I’m not a Twitterer, I’ve never written a Tweet and I won’t be either. I just don’t see the point. And I don’t follow anyone else’s Tweets either. If I want to know what any of my friends are up to I’ll text or ring them and ask to meet for a drink. And as for following the Twitterings of whatever celebrity, hello? what is all that about – it’s almost like an acceptable form of stalkingand really, really, why would you bother? If you don’t know this person IRL so to speak, why would you want to know that it’s sunny where they are on the other side of the world? Or that they’ve just had great fish & chips? Or indeed anything to do with their bodily functions?

A while ago I succumbedto Facebook, after a number of people asking if I was on it and then a friend that’d moved back to New Zealand saying it’d be the best way [ie cheapest!] to keep in touch, I decided to sign up. I’ve a pic up, just the one, taken a few years ago and it’s more about the signpost in the background rather than being able to recognise me [I’m also wearing sunnies] and I filled in a bit of the profile-y type stuff. I requested to be friends with those that had been asking me to sign up and accepted more friend requests within a few weeks. I don’t find Facebookthe best thing since sliced bread. I find a lot of the ‘What are you doing’ type posts very mundane, cringe inducing and don’t bother clicking into music or group postings that other put up. The odd time I’ll do a quiz one of my ‘friends’ has done and compare results – if I really have nothing better to do. And what is it with people putting so many pix up on their profile? Really?! A few people I’m friends with literally have hundred’s of photos of themselves on view. Hundreds! Talk about vanity… Get over yourselves!!

I did ponder for a bit when I got requests to be friends with the brother of and the cousin of a girl I used to be very good friends with. Then I got a request from her as well. I’ve never gone searching for anyone on Facebook. I couldn’t tell you if anyone I went to school wi as signed up. Anyone I’m still in contact with from college, well, I knew if they were already signed up and added them from my contacts when I signed up. A few friends of friends that I mightn’t have phone numbers for requested I be their friend and I accepted, maybe just out of politeness, no biggie really.

This was a bit different as over time I decided that she was more of a ‘toxic friend’ and only every sought me out when sheneeded a shoulder. So over a year afterI declined an invitation to her wedding but sent a gift but didn’t reply to her ‘thank you note’ either, haven’t rang her, emailed etc, could she not get the hint that I didn’t want to be her friend anymore – and that includes being her friend on Facebook?! I ignored all 3 friend requests. The truth hurts but she’d hurt me a lot in the past by not being a good friend when she had the chance, what changes things now?

And so now on to my final gripe with Facebook. I’ve had another friend request from an ex. What is it wih these guys?! I got 2 friend requests over the same weekend 2 weeks ago. One, from an ex I barely went out with over 4 years ago – it was never anythingmuch, a couple of dates, we’d been friends for a bit before that, I went off travellingand he met someone else, got engaged to her seconds later and is now single again [I clicked into his profile when the request arrived]. The other friend request was from a guy I went on a couple of dates with around 6 years ago, again, I wasn’t really into him and then couldn’t get rid of him – I clicked his profile out of curiosity and he’s now married and lives on the other side of the country. I really and truly don’t understand why either of these guys would think I’d want to be Facebookfriends with them now! Years after a handful of dates that feel like a lifetime ago!

And last weekend I got another Facebookfriend request from another ex, again, I went on a handful of dates withand whom I haven’t been in contact with for about 6 years! What the flip is going on?! Why are all these proverbial bad pennies turning up again? I’m really beginning to think there’s somethingin the water! I pressed ‘Ignore’ on the first ex requests and I’ll be dong the same with this guy. And I’ve also decided that I’m going to delete my Facebook profile. I’m annoyed that these guys think they can just ‘request’ my friendship afterall this time – who do they think they are?! I’m done with people from a past life thinking I want anythingto do with them. It’s more important to move on from people and things you don’t like and just keep close to your heart those you truly value.

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6 responses to “Face Value

  1. i so agree with you lol. i use mine to keep in touch with family and friends at home. that’s it. i have a cousin with 400 odd “friends” and hundreds of piccies of herself on it. double lol.
    if you search for me you can’t find me. i’m sat in my own wee pod and that’s where i’m staying. as for twitter, i don’t really get it and now i’m certainly not interested. excellent post.xxx

  2. towny – it’s good for keeping in touch like that but now i’m getting fed up w these ‘friend requests’ from people i used to know or barely know and i’ve no intention of suddenly becoming best friends with them!

  3. I think you’re reading into the whole Facebook thing a bit much. Just because someone wants to add you as a friend doesn’t mean they want to be “best friends” with you again; they might just want to say hello, how are you, see how you’re doing and then potter off into the sunset. They might just contact you the once, have a quick catch-up and then leave it at that…and that’s fine.

    As for the photos, it’s not vanity; it’s so people can see where you are, where you’ve been, what you’re up to…if you’ve got a lovely boyfriend you might want to post pictures of him. If you have a beautiful baby/cat/handbag you might want to post pictures of that. I think it’s nice for other people to see part of your life. If you don’t like that, then don’t do it.

    Different strokes for different folks!

  4. niamh, while i get what you’re saying, i think you’re missing my point about Facebook, quite ironically being yet another faceless way of contacting someone.. it’s like texting yet never meeting the person
    and my main point being that if i haven’t met or spoken to this person and made no contact with them for years, why would i suddenly want even ‘to catch up’ – surely, anyone i want to be in contact with, i’m already in contact with!

    and yes! i’m the type of person that will ignore you if you’re in the same pub as me unless i literally bump into you whereby i can’t avoid a catch up chat! what’s in the past should stay there.. it’s there for a reason!

    and you’ll never convince me that putting 100’s, i’m thinking specifically of a few profiles i’ve seen, actual 100’s of photos of yourself isn’t the most vain thing ever
    put a few up.. mail others to those you’re close to, that were at that party or whatever! don’t assume people will want to trawl thro 100’s of photos of you, when they know exactly what you look like!

  5. Karen Quinn

    Im kind of in the middle about the whole facebooking thing, its a good and cheap way to be in contact with people you actually give a shit about and can be a real laugh. However I think it is also an opportunity for people to go totally overboard with the advising everyone under the sun of their daily movements and posting a million photos of their entirely standard holiday in Spain or wherever… Like a lot of things in life moderation is the key.
    For the record I ignore friend requests from people who are for want of a better phrase just being ‘nosey bastards’. (I stopped talking to you 10 years ago and clearly don’t want to be your facebook ‘friend’ or any other kind of friend!) Im quite a private person in so far as I’m not one for just spilling my life out to any random out there and have my profile set so my friends can see it and even at that I’m careful as to what I say on it and the internet, in general.

    I think twitter is a slightly different beast as initially was very much the domain of techno geeks who wanted to share information and network with each other in a universal way, now it has crossed over into the mainstream and again everyone is on their advising what they had for breakfast! I like the ‘nearby’ feature on it as you can interact with people in your area and I have genuinely made friends with people as a result of replying to each others tweets.

    I will say though I am married to one the aforementioned techno geeks and was drawn into it by him initially. It is also great for chatting to beauty bloggers and finding people to chat to about your specific interests. A s much as my friends love me I don’t think they always want to listen to me wax lyrical about the latest mascara or new Rancid album.

    Thats my proverbial tuppence worth!

  6. good points there, Karen!

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