Not Always Black and White

blonde-goth-21OK, it’s been niggling at me for over a week now. That little voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that a very good friend of mine told me straight out that he ‘didn’t like McSmile and in fact didn’t think him good enough for me’. The fact that he told me his wife agreed, confirmed a double whammy power blow that has been etching away at my decidedly bruised ego.

I should also say that I’m perhaps a bit guilty of only relaying the times when McSmile has pissed me off over certain things to this couple. It can be downright excruciating and eyeroll inducing to have someone stand beside you, squealing with delight at the fact that their new boyfriend even breathes on his own, so I tend to shy from mentioning the good side to McSmile, not wanting to sound like a gushing buffoon – if you remember that scene in ‘Friends’ when Chandler walks out of the apartment, Monica is standing all wide eyed and smiley in the kitchen watching him leave and then Phoebe stands right beside Monica, leaning her head to one side an says in a really girlie voice ‘My boyfriend is so dreamy’, you’ll know what I mean!

But, the thing is, I’m now angry that these good friends of mine have a very tainted view of McSmile and being perfectly honest, I doubt there’s anything I could ever do to change their minds. And this makes me sad. But I’m also very happy today as I had such a good time with him over the weekend! It wasn’t an out of the ordinary weekend. We didn’t do anything spectacular or go anywhere wildly exciting. It was just really nice and it’d been the first time in a few weeks that it was just the two of us for the entire time, no meeting others, no bumping into people we knew.

So, cringe alert, I feel that it only right I for once relay the ‘good’ stuff that happened in the last 48 hours. He made me laugh and then laugh some more. I got a full rundown of what happened at a gig on Friday night and as we know each other much better now, it wasn’t hard to picture some of the scenes, exactly how he relayed them. He told me on numerous occasions that I was looking really good. He went out to the ATM, got me money too as I held the fort in the pub but I know that he spent more than me, he earns more than I do and so doesn’t expect me to pay for 50% of the night. He was really encouraging when I told him I was planning on doing a Creative writing workshop and perhaps a Fiction course in the next few months. He told me that he didn’t know what it was, but that I was looking really good and that I’ve looked better than ever in the last few weeks. He didn’t even roll his eyes when I gave him an update on what Molly and Fizzy had been up to during the week! He thanked me for keeping an eye out on the TV screen nearby – ‘From Dusk til Dawn’ was on and he hadn’t seen it, I’d said that I knew he wouldn’t want to miss that Salma Hayek scene and duly gave him a heads up when it came on. We laughed about it and agreed that he’d do the same for me if it was Christian Slater and still hasn’t complained about my increasing excitement that Fernando Verdasco should get good ‘camera time’ during Wimbledon next week. He was worried when we left as I’d no jacket, he offered me his and when I refused he said I was to let him know if I was cold on the walk home. Once in his place, he opened wine and handed me a glass and left me to peruse the iPod and choose whatever – this is an increasingly common occurrence, a very big deal if you knew how different our tastes in music are!

Yesterday, as we chatted in bed, he asked if I would like to go out for lunch – a timely question as I was gearing up to ask the same. We ate in a pub that had the tennis on [Queen’s Club] so that I could watch it, he doesn’t have much interest. He paid for lunch without a flinch, even though I would’ve offered to pay half and we walked out of our way home because I wanted to get an ice cream from a particular place. It was all very relaxed back in his place, more paper reading, shared bags of crisps and a general feeling of being comfortable doing nothing together. A ‘guilty TV’ love of ‘The Hills’ always has us turning in amazement to see the others reaction to a particularly catty comment or look and then minutes of laughing out loud, surmising what might happen next. More shared vino and general chit chat between two people that had spent over 24hrs together, with no one else in between and we went to bed. The last thing I can remember is him wrapped around me on my side of the bed and this morning when I woke up I was wrapped around him on his side of the bed.

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3 responses to “Not Always Black and White

  1. hey missy, just catching up on your blog today as I can’t get it at work..boo hiss! glad to hear you’d a fab wkd, those are always the best & if I’m honest I prefer wkds when me & the beau just spend it on our own, not meeting another soul. As others have said I think you’re the best judge of how things are with McSmile, your friends only see/hear about a small part of your relationship…c’mon you know it’s a relationship even if you both haven’t fully admitted it!! 😉

    So to summise… just remember if he makes you happy that is THE most important thing, your friends will be there for you no matter what, if they are true friends xxx

  2. aw.. thanks missy!

  3. He makes you happy. End of. That’s what counts.

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