Losing It

girl exercisingI have been dragging myself around lately! Absolutely draaagggging myself around. Waking up tired, standing in the shower thinking of how nice it will be in 15 hours time when I can go back to bed, getting to work and having that ‘only 8 hours to go’ thought, losing interest in any TV as I wonder what time I should go to bed at without arousing suspicion. I’m always ‘reading a good book’ and am known for reading into the wee hours no matter what, so that excuse has long been worn out.

That’s it, maybe I’m worn out. Tired? Exhausted more like. I do a heck of a lot of commuting now, I knew it would take it’s toll somehow, sometime. The 10 journeys a week I take to work each week average out at about an hour and a half each? Maybe a little less. But you see, I’m never in the same place for long either and I’m permanently running for a bus. Either to parents in one direction from work or back to the Big Schmoke in the other direction, depending what day of the week it is. And every journey has either a 20min walk + a 45min bus + a 10min walk or a 10min walk + a 30min bus + a 10 min walk. Oh and I probably expend lots of energy while pacing, cursing various buses for their tardiness as well.

But that’s not totally to blame for my lack of energy. I sometimes snooze on the bus but hate doing it and it’s not like I have to concentrate and drive the bloody thing! I know that not bothering my considerable arse to do any exercise for the last months on end is deffo not helping. It is so true about having more energy if you exercise regularly. But going to the gym, or signing up for a class or walking or pounding the streets just to end up where you started is so bloody boring!! God! And don’t give me any of that crap about gyms being nothing but wall to wall TV’s and music channels etc – any time I’ve ever gone to the gym it has been one long countdown to freedom as soon as I step inside.

I’ve put on a few pounds lately. I know it. I can see it. I have to get rid of them again and I know what I need to do to see any pay off – it’s to start exercising again. And cutting out the junk I’ve been shovelling into myself into for the last ages. I know that this is contributing to my slothful exterior and my sluggish mind.

Yesterday was Day 1 – well, only complete loons combine going-back-to-work Monday and starting a diet! I actually managed not to have crisps at lunchtime yesterday. Really, that’s a huge deal for me! I’m a total crisp fiend! And I went swimming last night. I love swimming and swam competitively when I was in school but shamefully, I hadn’t been in oh God! ages! I did just 1KM [1000m] and I’ll go again tonight and within a few weeks I hope to build back up to 1500m in 35mins [I guess that’ll be me cutting back on the fags as well *groan*]. I think I’ll have to start gyming it too *double groan*. Treadmills are great for losing the old ‘muffin top’, one of which I most definitely possess.

I’ve also decided that the devil himself may have distilled Pear Bulmers cider as it truly is very, very tempting, but at *ball park guess* one million calories per pint, I’m going to have to resist. And the vino. No more lazing around at the weekend supping cider or wine just cos it’s sunny out. Darn and blast it! Back to spirits and diet mixer [Hey! Not so bad!] 

Don’t believe me about the vino and pints? Take this test, if you can remember what you had any night last weekend and I guarantee you’ll be surprised. Last Sunday, the Pear Bulmers I nonchalantly sipped while watching the tennis and then a couple of DVDs came to the equivalent of 2 jaffa cakes [wait for it], an onion bahji, a burger and a slice of pizza… and on top of that I actually ate about 3 slices of pizza, some garlic chips and some chicken wings! Lord! Does every pleasure have to have some pain just around the corner?

I’m trying to distract myself and keep my willpower on the straight and narrow by envisaging a fantastic looking, fantastic feeling me, that is toned and healthy.. and thinner than your average gym bunny bitch!


3 responses to “Losing It

  1. OMG I’m the same. Little by little the weight has started to creep on. I was bending down to paint my toenails the other day and noticed a revolting muffin top in the bedroom mirror. Gah. And I love pear cider too…

  2. i’m the same. more food and less and less exercise lately. and i cannot resist wine. sigh. my “when i was fat jeans” are now a bit too small yikes. i must get my act together….i’ll have a glass of wine and make a plan!x

  3. it’s so hard isn’t it *sigh*

    i’m practically fainting typing this i’ve eaten so little.. ok, that’s a lie, i feel weak only cos i haven’t eaten crisps yet today, nor had some wine…

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