I don’t really feel like blogging right now. And now you probably don’t feel like reading this post. Sorry. It’s like I’m in some kind of bubble of mediocrity, a hamster on a wheel if you like. At least if I was in a fish bowl the castle would seem like something new each time I swam by it. It’s all just a bit, no, a lot, ‘meh’ right now.
I still don’t feel like I’m properly ‘into’ my new [2 months old] job yet.. it’s not that I can’t do it, it’s just a slow burner moving into a new disipline, building a whole new set of contacts and getting to grips with the politics. The commute is pissing me off. I missed a bus by 1 minute yesterday, had to wait half an hour for the next one and then was stuck on a traffic island in the middle of the road as I saw my bus home pull away later on. Saying this makes me feel guilty though because I really like the people I’m working with and know from experience that having a job right now is a bonus.
I’ve still no money though. Holidays? Pah! Paying off the credit card bill? It’ll be a long time and it’s use is on ‘real emergency only’ hold. A tub of Ben & Jerry’s or Claire’s Accessories earrings keep me going inbetween actually deciding which week I’ll treat myself to a MAC lippy and Nars eyeshadow combo or something from Esprit. Oh the money thing isn’t really bothering me. I always manage to go out a couple of times a week and really enjoy myself, that’s I suppose the way I really treat myself – the one thing I’ll never fathom is how city dwellers can up social life and swap it for nights in front of the TV trying to convince themselves that ‘everything’ is worth giving up in order to pay a mortgage, even if negative equity has fecked everything up. Seriously, I’m so glad I don’t really have to worry about money though, I get regular Fur Time with Molly & Fizzy and the only reason I’d want my own place is to be able to have pets, so I can live with renting no problem.
I should be raving about meeting a few friends at 8pm last Saturday and getting home at 9am the next day, after a night of great chatting, laughing and most of all dancing. Yeah, it was a really good night but one thing kinda ruined it in the middle and so I’m still actually trying to figure out what happened. Try as I have been , I’ve no control over this situation and damnit! I hate not being able to at least take a grip of what’s going on and think I can make it change. The fall out from this probably means I now won’t be going to a particular evint – I had my fabulously slinky Karen Millen dress, provacative Pied a Terre high heels and sexy evening gloves all ready to go as well. And I look absolutely fabilis in that outfit. At least as I write this Monday is nearly over, I feckin hate Mondays.
This is what’s bubbling underneath, courtesy of a little online quiz that I took while trying to come up with something more interesting to blog about and failing miserably:
‘You are such a sweetie! you would do anything to help anybody. You always have a smile on your face and when someone sees you, they smile too! You’re popular and probably friends with Little Miss Chatterbox. Heck, you’re friends with everyone! You are sensitive and funny and probably aren’t single. But if you are [Ahem! That seems imminent, tbh *sigh*], then it won’t be long before Mr Sunshine comes along. You have a crush on Mr Messy but you’re willing to make him a bit more clean and be more than friends. Who knows? He could be your Mr Sunshine after all!
So, I’m off to try and find the Little Miss Sunshine that hopefully isn’t too far away.