Everyone’s Girl Friday

There was an escape from Glitter Towers recently, whereby we took ourselves into town, best clothes on cos we were going somewhere very nice and meeting our favourite girl, Una Norris from Carrickstown, for a bit of a chat. I was soo nervous meeting my heroine but it the interests of good journalism, I took a deep breath and pressed play on my dictaphone!

GK: Una, great to meet you! How are you today?

Una: Oh, I’m grand, noh a bodder! It’s lovely here isn’t it? I was dead nervous coming into The Shelbourne n’ all. It’s so posh! And I was worried dere’d be chewin gum on me skirt, the buses into town can be filtee!

GK: So Una, how about I ask you some questions and it’ll be like a quick fire round, just say what comes into your head!

Una: Like ‘Family Fortunes? Or ‘Murphy’s Micro Quiz’? I used to loove dem! Go ahead! 

GK: Ok, whatever comes into your head! Favourite colour?

Una: Pink! Oh yeah! Definitely Pink.

GK: Favourite Place?

Una: Oh, eh.. I don’t know! Wih me fella Keih I suppose! Oh he’ll kill me for saying dat! On de beach in Tenereefey maybe

GK: Favourite Film?

Una: Dat’s Easy! ‘Pretty Woman’ It’s soo rosemantic!

GK: Favourite Drink?

Una: G and T, ice an’ a sli-iss, plee-ase

GK: Una, what do you like to do on your day off?

Una: Well, it doesn’t seem like I geh many a dem! Even on me days off I seem to do nothin but tidy up de fla’, wha?I dunno. I s’pose I like te do a bit a shoppin, meet one a de girls under Clery’s clock, dere’s lovely stuff in Clery’s. I got a whole new bedspread and pillowcase set dere in de sale. Maybe have a bih of a bite te eat in de Kylemore. And den I like te go home, get a takeaway and a DVD.

GK: Una, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Una: Oh, dat’s easy! A hairdresser! And sure I am one! I got a Girl’s World for Chrissstmas when I was 6 and I spent hours, hours I tell ye, brushin her hair an’ puttin on lipstick. But me Ma told me that people’s hair would always grow and dat not everyone wears make up, so I decided to be a hairdresser. And sure I’m good at de ole make up too dough!

GK: How would other people describe you?

Una: Oh God! I dunno. I’d like if dey tought I was a nice person. It’s nice te be nice. Me granny always said I had a heart o’ go-ilt, now I dunno about dat, but I like when people smile n not be all angry, so I’d try te geh dem to see sense, y’know?

GK: I get you Una! And definitely I think people would say you do have a heart of gold!

Una: Tanks very much! God! I’m blushin! Wha’s de next question! Quick!

GK: Una, what do you think of when I say the name ‘Keith’ to you?

Una: Stoppeh! I’m blushin even more now! Morto I am! I just tink of de time he axed me te marry him! He walked into McCoy’s, dat’s me no our local an’ he had a bunch a balloo-ins, all hearts and de ones that float. An he tol-ilt de whole world, well the people dere at de time, dat he loved me and wanted te marry me. An de ring was ah de end of de string. An den he got down on one knee, all formal loike, an when he looked straigh ah me, I just knew ih was meant te be!

GK: Una, have yourself and Keith decided where you’ll get married?

Una: No [shakes head], noh yet. I’d love if we went te Rome an’ maybe even saw de Pope. But I tink Keih says he wants te save money for a rainy day, so it’ll probably be in Dubalin, somewhere nice but just a small weddin’, it’d be more special dat way.

GK: And Una, will you still work after you get married?

Una: Oh yeah! Sure de bills won’t pay demselves! An’ I loike te tink of meself as an independent girl who can buy her own stuff. I mean, I love my Keih, bu’ a girl has te look after herself too y’know. An’ anyway, it’s importan’ te not be leanin’ on someone lese for stuff, money stuff, even if he is yer husbint.

At that point Una’s phone rang and when she smiled as soon as she spoke I knew if could only be one person on the other end of the line, Keith! I leaned in a bit closer and I heard her saying she was picking up travel brochures. Maybe Una’s going to get her dream wedding and dream honeymoon after all! I hope so.

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One response to “Everyone’s Girl Friday

  1. One word….. Priceless!

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