Fire – Wild and powerful, dangerous and beautiful. Desire – an uncontrollable need, a painful longing. So who in the name of everything that good in this world thought that the one thing, one thing missing from every guy on the planet’s life was to smell like an auld Burger King Whopper? That’s right. If you were to think of the one thing missing from your man’s life, would it be a combination of charred beef, unhygienic sniffling, walked in ‘potato’ products and inner city grease? No? Well, that’s not what the marketing honchos at Burger King would say! Oh, hang on! What they are actually offering you and your man is the ‘.. essence of love. The scent of seduction with a hint of flame broiled meat.’
Are you ok there? Is there a little sick in your mouth? Now, gather yourself, this is not a joke! Burger King have captured that most unique of fragrances, the pungency of their very own Whopper and bottled it! Oh yes they have! this really has been bottled and is for sale! All for the exclusive price of $3.99 [stop sniggering, someone is going to think that $3.99 is a bargain for such a classy gift]. Apparently, ahem, girls are driven wild with passion for the guy lucky enough to have realised that all he needs to do in order to attract hoards of bitches is the scent of plastic, scraped off the bottom of the barn, offal – ruff, ruff indeed!
I can barely type anymore. You have to go onto the website! This instant! Words are beginning to defy even me at this point! I dare you not to laugh and I double dare you to turn the sound on and not have a work colleague ask if you’re ok! It’s like Barry White’s [very] long lost half cousin was once told how to seduce women through the power of garage made Z-list porn. Oh the hilarity!