That’s right! It’s me and I’m back! Where was I? What was I doing? What did I see? Who did I meet? And most importantly was there kissing?! Ah, hang on a minute – sure it was only Christmas and well, people just do stuff at Christmas. Y’know, stuff. Chances are it’s either stuff with A] a long public transport trek home to the auld sod for the annual ‘Howaye Ma, thanks for dinner, again, I’m off to the pub’ [ahem, again but I’ll try not to wake ye later, sure I’ll be home early] or B] a risk of relationships, fingernails, future generations or sanity and go visit the [potential] in-laws.
The stuff I did this Christmas involved lots of chatting around the kitchen table, lots of reaching for another chocolate while trying not to disturb various felines sleeping on top of me and watching films that, I don’t care that I HAVE seen 100 times before, I wanted to watch again. Oh and I did a lot of ahem, sipping of vino, more than likely while trying to stuff said gob with chocolate and not disturb a feline while trying to coincide end of glass with ad breaks so as not to miss a second of the film I can quote from end to end.
What did you do for your Christmas haitus? Hang on. You’ve been asked that question already, right? Maybe you’ve been asked that question a million times since New Year’s Eve and well, you’re sick answering it. Maybe after like the first 25 times of giving a kinda detailed, relayed 2 funny stories and one ‘You’ll never guess who I met’ type scenarios, you were even beginning to bore yourself and the stories got less funny each time you heard them as well. After that it just became ‘Grand’. How was your Christmas? Grand, yeah, it was.. grand. That progressed to ‘Ah sure y’know’ and by the time Janet in Accounts, who is the nosiest, gossipiest beeatch you know asked you how your Christmas was, you were all done with the cheer and could barely muster a snarl and so now she presumes you were dumped on Christmas Eve and are stuck with 2 tickets to Paris that can’t be refunded.
But, it’s not that I don’t care how your Christmas was, I do! It’s just that, well, I get it – you did stuff and just after the funniest thing happened while out on Stephen’s night, you couldn’t believe who you bumped into and well, after that you sat on your arse for a couple of days, perfected taking the wrapper off another Quality Street while playing on your nephew’s Nintendo and yeah, well, you mooched around a few shops the day after but raced home after an hour to watch ‘The Wizard of Oz’.
I did that kind fo stuff too. Oh, and a lot of kissing!