Layabout Liam

We all know and have most likely fallen for a Layabout Liam at some stage. You know the type, good looking in a roguish, manly way. Not classically good looking but definitely someone that stands out from the crowd. And he’s always the charmer as well but can be a bit gormless from time to time, like when asked a question that needs thought. One final way of telling if you’ve a Layabout Liam on your hands, is if you can say straight off that he’s probably the laziest person you’ve ever met.
Layabout Liam thinks that everything will be fine – sure there’s always someone else around who’ll know what to do [handy to get out of decision making] and that will bale him out if he’s really stuck.
In my experience, Layabout Liam, although very interested in knickers like our Liam Connor pictured here, is most likely to be in a band. Or trying to be in a band [the others don’t understand him, he’s thinking of ditching them] and chances are he’s the dreamy singer or the stroppy guitarist. Either way, he’s the next big thing and the music world had better be ready! No office job for him, suggest it as a way to get off the dole and you’ll hurt his musical pride!
Layabout Liam is easy to spot. He swaggers up the street more monkey like than a Gallagher brother, tipping a nod and a wink to everyone he knows and he does know everyone. He’s so not into money and material things that he gives away his last Euro to a homeless guy.

He then strides into the pub and you see him linger long enough with the crowd by the door that he walks towards you with a full pint someone else has bought him.

‘Alright Babe? I can’t stay long. We’re having a session in BJ’s gaff, he got some guy to loan him some massive amp.. no, well, I dunno, I can stay for a bit.. Borrow a fag off ye? Cheers.. Listen, just need to talk to the guys about something, back soon.. Eh.. I owe Pox a pint, do ye have any cash? I’m out cos I gave the last of my money to that poor homeless guy. Cheers. So anyway, what are we all doing? Staying here for a bit? Love, any chance you’d buy me a pint? I’m outta cash and I really want to stay and chat cos I haven’t seen you for ages. Jeez, I’m starving, you hungry? Maybe we’ll get something on the way back to yours’.
Layabout Liam has spent his life perfecting the art of looking as though he’s breaking his back working but he hasn’t put in a decent day’s graft in his life. But he wants to work, apparently; it’s just that the whole world is against him. And it’s hard you know, not being able to stand his round in the pub. All these fecking eejits around him don’t help either. He’d have a record deal is it wasn’t for them fighting and arguing all the time. And well, he’d take that odd job man bit of work that’s going but there’s a chance of getting a gig in the new music centre and they’d have to put in a few sessions for that, make sure the lads were up to it.
Just for today, he says, it’s easier to just have a few pints. Let someone else deal with things. But when it comes down to it, would anyone even really miss Layabout if he suddenly wasn’t there?


3 responses to “Layabout Liam

  1. liam connor is yum!!

  2. ah! but how much work do you see him doing, letsmakeup 😉
    he seems glued to that couch of late!

  3. Good god, the man cant speak to, he seems to have serious adenoid problems….

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