Would You Like Earrings With That?

Now Darlings, I’m a bit a Magpie when it comes to sparkly baubles – everyone should have some. I do draw the line at wearing them all at once though.

Have you seen those cheap and nasty looking ‘girls’? Several Sovereign rings on each hand, 5 or 6 thin ‘gold’ chains around their necks, each with a bullet or a brick dangling precariously into their ample bosoms. I dread to think of the amount of green cheap jewellery marks they have to scrub off when they make it to the shower.

Where did they all learn how to wear jewellery like this? Do you pick your course according to how you want to wear your hair? Manky peroxide extensions hanging like rat’s tails around your tracksuit bottoms or the classic ‘council estate face lift’ whereby it’s all scraped into a ponytail and your eyebrows circle the back of your head.

And does the amount of jewellery you own/wear at once directly relate to how loud you can scream at ‘yer fella’ in the street or at your umpteen kids in the supermarket?

It’s really quite baffling as to how this tribe of people came about, I mean, on what planet is it a good look? Planet F*ck off or I’ll break your face, perhaps. That’s one place I’m never going – I sidestep these wans before they get within 10 paces, well, you don’t know where they’ve been.

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6 responses to “Would You Like Earrings With That?

  1. I hear ya girl. Never ever understood it. And it’s not merely restricted to Planet Wan. One of my mother’s friends (who is a far as you can get from a Wan) always seems to wear every piece of jewellery she 0wns. And its seriously expensive stuff too. But the way she wears it, it all looks like complete tat. To say she looks mildly ridiculous is an understatement….

  2. glitterkitty

    totally monty – an ex landlady of mine did the same. hers was all mega expensive, real deal stuff ,but 3 diamond rings on a couple of fingers of each hand and up to 3 or 4 gold necklaces? just looked so cheap!

  3. Good god, i have a pain in my face from laughing… Having worked on O’connell st for over 2 and a half years am well used to seeing these wans floating around with ‘Juicy’ plastered all over thier arses! So wonderfully tasteful!

  4. Always use to remake on this when Shameless was on. Friend of mine wears 4 rings on one finger – her engagement ring, wedding ring, eternity ring and another expensive enough one – can never fathom why cos she doesn’t wear rings on any of the others.

    One of my guilty little secrets is I like a man with a signet ring and thick gold ropey type chain – throw in a droheda/dundalk accent and I’m sold.

  5. 😛 What a laugh! But I have to say, Claddagh earrings are the ultimate accessory if you want to project a “whuuugh de yuuugh tink yuuugh are, I’ll kick de head a yuuugh” attitude. Nice.

  6. what a laugh indeed dippy! mind you, i wouldn’t be laughing right to their faces, ahem…

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