Saggy Old, Baggy Old

Saggy, baggy, pink and white, furry, cuddly, wise and pretty much my best friend. I hearted Bagpuss and I know that Bagpuss hearted me each time I pressed my nose up against the telly to get a better view of what he, the gorgeous Madeline, Gabriel the Frog, Professor Yaffle and the naughty scamps The Mice were getting up to.

I think if I was asked, I’d have to agree with a recent poll that put Bagpuss as the Favourite Kids TV character of all time. There was something very assuring about the manner in which Bagpuss took control from his cosy looking cushion. What Bagpuss says, goes!

I was very jealous of Emily. Not only did she have a proper Lost & Found shop [where the mice repaired all matter of things during the night] but she had lovely hair too. I watched Bagpuss for years before we had our first cat and he may just have been the reason why I wanted one! *Sigh* I really wanted to go visit Emily’s shop. Imagine what it would be like to walk through the Victorian door, the little bell would ring and there’d be all types of goodies on display. But you couldn’t just buy stuff from Emily’s shop. Oh no, it wasn’t that kind of shop. It was like a little holding area for dollies that had fallen from the baskets of bicycles or toy trains that rolled a bit too far down the hill and ended up going around one too many corners – for Emily, thoughtful and Good Samaritan that she was, just minded all the toys until the day that their owner stumbled across them, sitting all shiny and repaired to perfection in the loveliest shop in the world.

Chipshop Katona – where to start?

It’s a good question, right? Kerry Katona’s life is a total, recorded for all to see, car crash. The fact that she found fame with girl band Atomic Kitten seems so long ago [it was 2001] that you’d be forgiven for not remembering she was once a singer [having previously been a stripper]. The fact that she’s probably snorted half the coke in South America, been in rehab for ahem, depression and admittedly smoked her way through at least her last [and fourth] pregnancy alone is enough to get her a whole episode with Jeremy Kyle. Another one could be devoted to the fact that she’s lucky she still has her youngest kids, the two older girls being mostly brought up by her first husband’s family. But when she opens her mouth and you realise that she has to be the most common type of slag you could find, everything falls into place. Throw in the fact that her latest paid ‘work’ is for allowing £15,000 worth of lipsuction to be filmed and it just becomes an endless stream of what can she do next?

To me, it’s very hard to justify that this chavvy, slutty, loudmouth who’s grating voice is like fingernails going down a chalkboard, who’s idea of important world events consist of a continued slagging match with Jordan in the tabloids, is 1] a celebrity [and I use the term very loosely] and 2] that she has made millions on the back of being one of the most horrible people ever spawned.

Her recent MTV reality ‘show’ consisted of herself and her second husband roaring and shouting at each other across the kitchen table in true common as muck style, she denying everything reported about her in the tabloids or being in the back of the car whinging about not being able to stay in bed all day. He’s rude and arrogant, she’s a moany cow, there doesn’t seem to be a brain cell between them, yet you get the impression that she really believes that she should be treated like a queen!

This video, from a live TV daytime show earlier this week, says it all. Watch it and you’ll practically see the words ‘I’m a Drunken Mess’ tattooed across her forehead.

**Update** This appearance on ‘This Morning’ has been the talking point in today’s papers. While I acknowledge that Kerry may have only been on prescription medication, like she says, she should just disappear for a bit and sort herself out. She’s had several trips to rehab for various things but if she really wants to get better she needs time away from the Press and should live her life without a camera crew trailing her every move. I personally don’t think she’ll do this because she’s nothing but a fame whore that would do anything for a bit of cash and a camera flash.

Lipstick Let Down

Lipstick Jungle, read my lips; Tiresome. I was eagerly awaiting the start of this show and after two episodes, I don’t think I’ll make it to a third. From the book by Candace Bushnell, this is billed as Sex and the City for girls who already have it all. So, that’s ok then, sure that’s us all covered.
The opening credits, hmm, I’m not sure, Manhattan skyline, this isn’t helping me move on from SATC. Opening few scenes, oh puuurrrlease, hand me a bucket, I think lunch is on it’s way. We’re supposed to see the three main characters as three girls who have it all, are strong, powerful and oozing with sex appeal, what could possibly be wrong, save the odd blip regarding lipstick choice? Well, there’s a heck of a lot wrong with this show.