Gonna Eat Me A Lot Of Peaches

The weather has turned distinctly miserable again this week. I still haven’t been able to wear my ‘To Glitter, From Glitter’ new dress. And I want to be able to wear my new dress. If at least the rain and biting cold would go away I’d have no trouble throwing on a coat to do me from taxi to pub and I’d be ok for a few trips outside for a lovely fag as well. But no, our temperate climate means I’ll just have to dream about wearing the dress without the need for tested in the Arctic outerwear.. and dream I may well be doing for a while yet considering our recent ’Summers’!

So, to cheer myself up, I’m going to think about the time I was in Barcelona with the sun shining, sitting on Las Ramblas with the waiter pouring triple vodkas for the price of a coke back home. Every so often we’d take some shelter in the market across the road and load up on fantastic fruit and race back to our table so that the chocolate we also bought wouldn’t melt! Oh the size of those juicy peaches! Steady now.. But definitely when I think of it being sunny I think of peaches, well, whose thoughts wouldn’t wander towards smooth skin, glistening provocatively under the brightness of a hot, lazy day?

No Bother! Talk To Ye!

As I’ve mentioned, I started a new job recently. And it’s not in Dublin, where I officially live, but a town outside of the capital, close enough to my parents place. So, it’s a whole new regime for me as I’m Chez Parents for a couple of weeknights and back in the Big Smoke to ensure I keep some semblance of a social life at weekends. The upshot of this is that I’ve a whole new town to get to know - and that means shopping!

I was pleasantly surprised by what’s right outside my office window. At lunchtime I tend to go next door into Marks & Spencer, maybe pick up a posh sambo or pasta thingy, maybe allow a Lemon Meringue Pie to fall into my basket, maybe also picking up some posh crisps or a 3 pack of trusty knickers. In the same shopping centre there’s an Esprit, which made me squeal with delight as I love Esprit – sure they do black all year round! There’s also the nice shop I got my fab ‘To Glitter, From Glitter’ birthday dress. There’s even a big department store and to my delight I was able to pick up loads of lovely Apivita stuff there last week and they do loads of mid price skin & haircare brands that I haven’t yet tried.

Walking down the street the other day, past the fabulous fishmongers, I went further a field than normal [ie about 100 yards] and found myself in a lovely artisan cafe/deli, the loveliness oozing out from wooden pots of oils and vinegars, the whole place smelling like a bit of Italy. ‘What would you like, pet? How can I help you?’. ‘Er, do you do paninis? I was just looking at that ham you have’. ‘Now, we don’t do paninis, what about a nice ciabatta? Fresh today!’. ‘Ok then! Yeah, some of that ham and em.. what else will I have..?. ‘What about the sweet chilli relish? I’ll pick you out some extra nice bits of the ham, there’s a honey glaze on it and some of that relish, would that be ok?’ ‘Great! Yeah! thanks’. No bother, here you go and sure just take the Coke from the fridge on your way out. Mind yourself!’ And sure I was just thinking about how nice that girl was when I popped into a chemist for a bit of Smashbox and how much are the Clinique gift sets down to perusing.

The next day I went back to my usual deli for lunch. ‘Now! what can I get you? What’s it like outside, it was freezing earlier’. ‘Oh it’s still freezing, but sure.. can I get a roll with chicket fillet and a bit of coleslaw please?’ ‘Of course you can! No bother. There a big fillet left, I’ll give you that one.’ ‘Great! Thanks!’ ‘Now, will I cut it in half for you?’ ‘Please.’ ‘Now, I’m only asking cos there was a fella in here the other day.. well! he got fierce annoyed that I cut his sandwich in two! Did ye ever hear the like? Fierce annoyed he was! Now, off you go and enjoy your lunch – both halves!’

I’m still laughing at that one because well, you can see her point.  But I’ll have to concentrate tomorrow lunchtime – apparently there’s a huge designer clothes sale on in the next street, all high end labels and the only worn once clothes will be for nothing! I might have to forgo usual wander and head straight to this but it’ll be another little adventure in this place I’m still getting to know!

Kitten Fail

You’ll laugh at this the second you see it and then scold yourself because the poor wee thing must’ve hurt itself. And then you’ll laugh again, stop mid guffaw but have an uncontrollable urge to share it with someone else.

How many times and with how many cats and kittens have I seen this? We’ve seen the ‘one step and she disappears off the table, even though no one realised she was that close to the edge’, we’ve seen the ’skids into the wall mush first when trying to turn a corner so quickly that an arse has actually banged against the wall’. We’ve also [oh the shame!] done the ’shine a torch onto a wall and watch how kitty disappears down the back of the couch’.

There was one time when Molly literally fell from the sky [or the kitchen roof, to be exact], my sister being the only one to see it, thinking she’d gone mad and then poor Molly was found outside, none the worst for wear, just a little dazed. We’ve also laughed at the ‘oh, scratch me more, up on hind legs effort that resulted in a very undignified falling over’, that one came complete with a swipe at another nearby innocent kitty for just being there at the moment of utter shame. The ‘OMG! I thought the bird bath was empty’ ended up with a soggy and annoyed kitty that we had to turn our backs on to laugh, such was the undignified result – you should’ve seen the puss on that face!

Oh felines are a funny lot! I simply can’t decide if I find this funnier than the amount of sympathy I have for the little baby that doesn’t quite make it to the top of the ledge. It’s a bit like Daddy or Chips – how do you decide?!

Dem Bones, Dem Bones

So, have you been to this ‘Bodies Dublin’ exhibition then? Are you planning on going? It’s the expo of human cadavers that have been preserved in a very specific way and displayed to show various internal organs, muscles, blood system etc. Way too gory for you? Appalled by the immoral nature of it all?

When I read about this I thought, ‘Cool.. that might be worth a little lookey’. I’m a scientist by trade and I’ve always been a bit of a geek when it comes to biology and how things work, why things are one way and not another and how everything fits into it’s own little place in the grand scheme of things. But I’m wondering now if I have any issues with this exhibition, that I’d have have to pay in to see it and just how it was put together, what it represents and all that stuff;

The bodies in this expo are claimed to have been sourced by the Dalian Medical University Plastination Laboratories, which is in China, and the spokesperson and Chief Medical Director for the expo is Professor Emeritus Roy Glover of Michigan University. It is claimed that all the bodies in the expo died of natural causes. In fact they highlight that in some cases, it’s clear to see what the person died from due to the state of various internal organs on display. But there has been issues raised that the bodies may come from Chinese prisons. China, China, China – why don’t I like the sound of that? Maybe something to do with the country’s appalling record on Human Rights. In fact last year the expo was investigated by New York’s Chief Legal Officer and because the organisers couldn’t disprove that the people died from natural causes or that they didn’t come from Chinese prisons, all ticket holders were eligible for a refund. And then there’s the whole ethical issue of whether its right to pay in to see an exhibition whereby human cadavers are used as a form of entertainment – even if the organisers state that it is aimed primarily at medical students to aid the study of anatomy and as a teching aid in general to highlight the dangers of smoking, cholesterol etc and to show how a healthly lifestyle is reflected in our bodies.

There’s a part of me that is naturally curious and wants to go to this. If you’ve ever been near a dead person, you’ll know about that thought that you can’t get rid of, the thought that maybe just hours beforehand the lifeless, decomposing, ashen faced body was just as alive as you, maybe laughing and joking or crying or shouting, that there was once a hearty character beaming out from behind those now closed forever eyes. It’s always been something that’s made me wonder about how delicate life can be to see someone transformed in this way because of death. So, I know that if I went to this expo, I’d be wondering who the person was, what did they do in life, what kind of person were they. When I look at a painting in a gallery, I wonder how the artist chose his subject, was he sad or was it one of his favourite things? When I go to a museum and stand in front of an ancient sword or a piece of jewellery belonging to royalty, I wonder what tales they could tell from hundreds of years ago. So, maybe what I should be wondering is whether the people that once owned these bodies should be allowed the privacy and respect of a burial plot and a headstone.

Bit of a Blur

It’s been a funny old week. I was not busy, busy, not busy and then busy busy busy in work. I was wrecked on Monday and just wanted it to end but went to bed late and read for ages. So began a pattern for the week, the going to bed late bit, not necessarily the reading bit – I hadn’t a minute to myself it seemed. Family stuff one night, things and stuff another night and I had a yummy dinner out courtesy of The Glamorous Blonde and My Other Dad on a night I wouldn’t normally be out, but I can’t complain about that.

For some reason I was a day ahead of myself all week until yesterday and was rather disappointed that it was only Thursday. Then something happened and I kept thinking yesterday was Wednesday, so I fell a day behind. Like FFS! What is going on?! I was going to put up ‘Where is my Mind’ by The Pixies but I’m hoping that this is a temporary thing and I should save that song until you lot really have something to worry about!

So, as I type, I know it’s Friday. And that means the weekend. To borrow from Damon Albarn, Woo Hoo!

Me and My Shadow

You walk or bus or train to work via the same route and at the same time each day. You order from your favourite Chinese and favourite Pizza place. You get lunch in the same deli nearly every day. You buy a newspaper in the same shop each day or you pick up a freesheet at the same corner each day. I’ll bet there’s a couple of people you see on your way to work each day way that you’ve never spoken to, shop assistants you only ever thank for your change or delivery guys that know the destination of the food just by looking at the order. But what about someone you don’t know that keeps popping up in different places?

Years ago, like 8 years ago, this guy started talking to me on the train. Now, in general I’ll engage in a very brief, ‘Yeah, will the rain ever stop?’ or ‘Sure at least it’s the weekend’ type conversation with a stranger on public transport before picking up my book or simply letting them know I don’t want to talk to them by turning and looking out the window, ignoring any chance for further chat. This guy was different, he was quite loud and in typical male-without-any-cop-on fashion, just leaned across the table towards me as though being more up close and personal meant I’d automatically want to chat to him. There just wasn’t a way to ignore him, so I found myself in a conversation with him but I wasn’t exactly going out of my way to keep it going. And he just kept talking to me. Rather loudly. I could see people looking and wondering why they were subjected to him as well. Boy was I glad to get off that train!

I happened to notice him getting on the same train as me a few years after that – and I made sure to sit at a seat that was already occupied by 3 people, something I wouldn’t normally do, thus avoiding him. He sat nearby though, as I could hear him boring the pants off the poor unfortunates he did end up sitting beside. Then about a year ago, when I was heading to my parents, there he was! Right beside me waiting to get on the bus! I raced down the bus and hoped he’d take a seat closer to the driver, which he did. Phew! A couple of months ago, yep, he was getting the same bus as me and I literally shuddered with fear when by some horrible coincidence we exchanged glances.

A few weeks ago, I’m convinced he was in HQ! My local! I finished my lovely fag quicksmart and ran back to the comfort of my drink, praying that it was simply someone that looks like him taking up space in my smoking room! I didn’t smoke again until we were in a different pub.

Last night, I was heading from work around 5.30. Can you guess who was also getting on the same bus? Of course you can! Bloody well him! I practically slid under my seat to avoid his looking-for-someone-to-talk-to perusal of who was on the bus. A second later I could hear him trying to start up a conversation with the driver! What’s with this guy? Does he like, need to talk to everyone?!

I think I’m stuck with this intermittent shadow. Groan.

Table for One?

I was reading an interview with the actor Bill Nighy when he remarked on what a solitary type of character he was, that he likes spending time by himself but how whenever he has lunch on his own he can only eat if he has something to read. It got me thinking about doing stuff on my own, going for lunch, going for a walk, going to the cinema, going shopping. If there’s one out of that list that some people tend to find a bit weird it’s eating alone. The easiest way in the world to get a sympathy vote is to walk into a restaurant, sit for 10 minutes on your own and look as though you’d nearly pay a waiter to stop by and chat until your now-paying-for- lunch companion arrives. And if you’re a girl, surrounding tables will be thinking you’ve been stood up before you put down the menu.

Recently, I was having lunch with a friend in a very busy restaurant. We’d been there for third-glass-of-wine ages and so we were both looking around a bit. A pretty girl walked by and sat at a table near us. She looked about 22. She sat facing the window and her table was in the middle of the floor. She declined a drink. Looked at the menu again and then put it back down on the table again. Then she decided she’d get a drink. She answered her phone but we didn’t think it was the call she was waiting for. She ordered food and left about 10 minutes after she finished eating. We [of course sounding like the nosiest so and so's ever by now!] couldn’t figure out if she had arranged to meet someone or not. I’m going to say now that I can tell you so much about her movements because my friend was dying to know if she’d really been stood up.

Now, I am definitely of the opinion that it’s perfectly fine to dine alone. I’ve often decided to treat myself to a lazy Sunday lunch with the papers  in a nearby cafe. I’ve often arranged to meet someone in a cafe whereby they were late as well though and so I was waiting on my own for a bit. But during either of these situations, I’d bring along something to read. Now, I like to have a good look around, see who else is doing what in the restaurant – be it the Mom trying to control her kids [why bother attempt it, they're all brats], the couple that are having a slight disagreement while trying to not raise their voices, the old lady smiling and getting all the wait staff to do bits and pieces for her, thanking them profusely but really only wanting a bit of a chat or the guy in the corner that is trying not to look as though he’d gladly fall down the waitress’ top each time she places something on his table. After that, I’ll settle down to a bit of reading, coat on back of chair, phone close by after I check I haven’t missed a call or text, maybe write a quick something in my trusty notebook. My food will arrive and I’ll put down the book. I won’t eat with my face in my food. I’ll eat at my own pace, maybe pick up a wayward red onion from the edge of my salad, push the pointless lettuce away. I’ll have another look around as I chew, see if the fighting couple have left yet, make sure the kids aren’t coming any nearer. I might put my fork down and read a text just after it arrives. I’ll finish and once my plate is out of my way, I might reply to the text I got, have another look around, ask for another glass of wine [you knew that was coming!] and then resume my reading.

Maybe I’m one of those people that look awkward eating alone, maybe I give the impression I’ve been stood up so order twice the amount of food I would’ve let my potential lunch buddy see on my plate. Maybe I give the impression that I like eating on my own and am comfortable doing just that. Maybe I don’t care cos I’m just doing my own thing, try it! It’s great!

Come Dine With Glitter

I have a confession to make. I’ m pretty obsessed with TV Cookery Programmes. It’s a constant mystery to my dad and my sister how I can sit down first thing on a Saturday morning and watch hours of food being prepared via Saturday Kitchen and the Masterchef that follows. And I’d have to say, there’s very few episodes of Rick Stein that I haven’t seen, yet I don’t eat fish! [Rick Stein runs a seafood restaurant in Padstow] I was impressed with Jamie Oliver’s last TV series as he seems to have finally grown up a bit, but he’s still about an 8/10 on the Twat Scale. I didn’t Cookalong with Gordan just before Christmas, I should’ve though, I felt as though I did because I even delayed getting to HQ to watch it each Friday. The thing is, though, I’m not much of a cook. Oh, I have a few things I do and over the last few years have built up quite a nice set of stir frys and pastas that I do, but I wouldn’t claim to knowhow to cook. Maybe it’s just a girl thing and I like watching food being prepared, salivating in the oohs and aaahs of the lucky devils that get to taste it!

Ok, so I’ve mentioned that I cook a few bits and pieces. And I’ve found that I like cooking. I like seeing how I can improve a supermarket bought jar of sauce with my own addition of herbs and spices. Maybe a bit of experimenting. Maybe the odd trial of something I saw on TV that looked easy enough. I cook for my parents and sister and her boyfriend quite a bit and they’re always impressed. It’s like it’s now my job to cook the odd evening there’s something to celebrate [or just for the hell of it!]. Mom still does the Sunday Roast though, that’s Sacrosanct!

Last week, for my birthday, I decided to cook for above mentioned parents, sister and her boyfriend, that way I could control the menu. I hadn’t done a 3 course meal before without any giving out that there was too long between the starter and main or that the starter was late in the first place or.. well, you get my drift and so I wanted to cook nice food that everyone liked, have the main follow the on time starter by just maybe 10 minutes and have the dessert follow at it’s own pace. I decided that I’d try some Thai food. Now, my Red Thai Curry is very famous around these parts and it’s damn near perfect! But I wanted to add to my Thai repertoire. I like spicy, garlicy food with a kick, some chili, maybe more than your average person, anything but bland. I like food that jumps around my mouth bursting with flavour.

And This One Time In Bandcamp…

Don’t you just hate a show off? Show offs like to hear nothing better than the sound of their own voices and I’ve noticed that it doesn’t take long before they’re the only ones who can stick the sound of their voices. Now, there’s showoffs that actually [in their opinion] have stuff to show off about and then there’s the showoffs that are downright liars, with no sense of reality and actually believe all the utter shite they come out with. This second type, the Lying Showoffs [LS] are the most awful type of people to have the misfortune to come across and I’ve met 3 serious LSs!

The typical LS is only interested in one-upmanship and is in constant battle with whomever is unlucky enough to be within earshot. The LS is the most annoying and frustrating person you’ll ever meet. EVER! No matter what you do in your life, LS will have done it before you, done it a better way than you have, he or she [the LSs I've met have all been female] will have the most expensive version of whatever, they’ll have been to better places than you, eaten better than you, gotten a better tour guide than you, done whatever faster and in a better way than you and lastly, there is nothing, nothing that you can do to have one up on LS.

I’ll give you some examples;

Happy Birthday To Me!

This Altered Images version of ‘Happy Birthday’ has been in my head all week! It’s just so boppy and fizzy and sparkly, so a bit of a no-brainer really! Claire Grogan so was the Pixie of Pop! Now, as you read this, I must confess that it’s not actually my birthday until tomorrow, but! but! eh, I really don’t see myself online over the w/end cos I’ll be too busy having fun elsewhere!

This may well be the shortest post ever.. but I’m too excited! I still don’t have an absolute plan, but rest assured, there will be dancing and drinking and eating and kissing and .. and well.. there’s bound to be a lot of laughing! Woo Hoo! Have a great weekend everyone!